Why Women Struggle To Charge Their Worth
Do you struggle to charge your worth as a female freelance creative?
(Hi hello, turns out I just love writing about these types of uncomfortable yet EMPOWERING topics. We are just gunna go with it!)
Recently, I posted a poll on my LinkedIn asking for feedback from other female business owners about areas they would like support with,
And in the comments, I got a lot of feedback from women struggling with constantly undercharging for their work.
(This makes me feel the big, big sad)
😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
This is a super common issue for so many people (myself included)
And I think a big reason why so many of us struggle with this problem is how we are taught and expected to behave.
(Yes, we will be talking about the evils of the ❌patriarchy❌ today, so strap in. It’s not-so-radical feminism time!!!!!!)
So, after reflecting on my own personal struggles with charging my worth,
I thought I would share some of the common reasons why I personally feel that charging higher rates is such a difficult task for successful entrepreneurial women.
(This is by no means an exhaustive list and is heavily biased based on my personal experience as a cis-gendered white woman, but I hope my points can act as a starting point for some good conversations)
Let’s get into it!
#1 — Women are trained to be polite first and foremost
(This one is a bit counterintuitive, but roll with me on this one for a sec)
If you are anything like me, you value (and were taught to value) being a kind, easy-to-get-along-with person who people like.
Absolutely nothing wrong with that — unless that practice is making you shrink yourself smaller to prevent confrontation.
Traditionally, women are taught that we are always expected to be warm, compassionate, empathetic, and considerate, putting everyone else’s needs before our own.
(Think of the selfless mother archetype!!)
And while objectively these traits are admirable, overcommitting to “being a polite and nice woman” leads to dangerous territory where you don’t know how to advocate or stand up for yourself.
I can’t count the number of times that I have done this myself.
Instead of standing up for myself, and asking for what I want, I take the more “polite” route, saying things like:
“Oh, OK, if that is your budget, I will work within it!”
“Not a problem, I can make that tight deadline work for you!”
“Whatever you want, we can do it that way!”
(Yes, it is nice to be polite. But am I being polite and respectful to my own boundaries and values by just agreeing to everyone else’s wishes??)
So yes, obviously, there is nothing wrong with being a polite person.
(Honestly, it is a good way to be!)
But if you find that you are struggling to advocate for your rates, your worth, or your values, I strongly recommend that you take some time to unpack why that might be.
Are you worried about being “polite” instead of advocating for your wants and needs?
(If this is the case, I want you to know that it is not your fault — you are acting based on how our society has trained you to behave. But, this is a pattern you need to identify, evaluate, and change to charge your worth and build your business.)
TL;DR: Being polite to a fault is NOT serving you as well as the patriarchy has told you it will.
It’s time to set better boundaries and ruffle some feathers by saying no when people cross them — god forbid that be anything but prim and proper for a lady!
#2 — Women are taught that our labor is an expectation
This is not going to be a revolutionary fact, but I really want to make this point very, very clear:
Women’s labor has always been (and currently still is) undervalued and underpaid.
(And as a result, we now struggle to charge rates equivalent to our male counterparts. BOO HISS 👎👎👎)
From homemaking to career-building, work traditionally associated with women is chronically undervalued (and in some cases, not even acknowledged),
Which, over time, has created a societal expectation that “women are just willing to do what we need to do to get things done.”
Women are expected to upkeep a family, organize events, maintain friendships, stay on top of the latest trends, and so on and so forth, all while being nothing but pleasant and lovely — and at no point in time is that time or effort considered to be “work.”
And, when this toxic messaging translates into careers, it is so clear why so many women struggle to set boundaries and ask for more,
Because we are so used to going “above and beyond” as our baseline, we don’t even realize how much value we bring to the table.
We all know a man (or a hundred) who, despite being very successful, gets by doing the bare minimum.
And while I am by no means saying that this is an admirable state of being, it poses a very important question:
Why don’t we appreciate and value the amount of work women do in the same way?
(I’d love to hear all of your thoughts or anecdotes about this topic, so please reply and let me know. It’s a spicy but important topic!)
#3 — Women are not encouraged to talk about money
Finally, talking about money is a very uncomfortable and challenging task for most women, because we are not encouraged to talk about it, like ever.
While men (and I’m making broad generalizations here) are more likely to talk about raises, bonuses, job opportunities, etc., while out golfing or at the pub with business clients,
It is significantly more taboo for women to bring up these topics. Which is total BS!
And because we are less likely to ask our peers about money or rates, it is so much harder for women to know:
If their rates are too low
How to approach asking for raises or rate changes
How to push back when their needs are not being met
(Instead, we are just supposed to be happy with what we have!!! Aren’t you being a little greedy for wanting more???)
🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
So, while there is no “easy” fix for this problem
(There are so many deep-rooted cultural and societal limitations that prevent so many women from being able to freely speak about money and finances without prejudice)
This is an area that we, as a small group of business-oriented women, can tackle by being more transparent with our rates.
Talking to other women about rates and money is single-handedly the most empowering thing I have done for my business.
Through making other writer friends and being candid about my work and my rates, I have gained more confidence than I ever thought possible in charging my worth and standing my ground.
So, I challenge you to open up about your rates with your circle of friends, business or not.
(Let me know if this is a topic you are all interested in, and I am happy to do an email breaking down my current rates and business structure. Sharing is caring, after all!)
The key takeaways
So, the key takeaways I want you all to understand from this email:
It is not your fault that you find charging your worth difficult. Most of us were not raised to advocate for our needs, but we can change.
Your wants, needs, and dreams are worthy of appreciation and acceptance. You need to believe this first, and then everything else will follow.
Asking for what you want and charging your worth is challenging and will take practice. Regardless, you need to learn how to do it, in more places than just your business.
(Sorry to go all guidance counselor at the midway point of a 1980s school cult classic movie on ya there, but I really want these concepts to resonate!!!)
So, sticking to that theme, I have a bit of homework for ya:
How did this email make you feel? Do you agree or disagree with my points, and do you have any other takes or points you want to share?
What can we do, as a small community of female business owners, to raise each other up?
Answer these questions by leaving me a comment or sending me a DM on LinkedIn. I’m very interested in hearing your thoughts and answers, so please don’t be shy!
Until next week, your partner is destroying the patriarchy,