How To Connect With Other Writers (And Actually Make Friends)

Becoming a writer can be a lonely experience…

And, for many freelancers, working in isolation can feel like a sacrifice that you “have” to make,

Because like, it’s just a fact that all freelancers work by themselves, for themselves.

Right? RIGHT?!

(This is actually not right and is, in fact, a lousy way to work, as I had to learn the hard way)

Having writing peers is so, so important

When I started my freelancing journey three years ago, I assumed I was trading my busy nursing career filled with professional colleagues for quiet, isolated work as a writer.

At the time, I was only using Upwork (a freelance job board website) to land my clients and do my work,

And I never even considered that not only did I not have to do it alone, but that it would be SO MUCH BETTER IF I DIDN’T.

In hindsight, I wish I could go back and yell at myself to snap out of it, but we still haven’t invented time travel, so I am out of luck 🙃

(But you don’t have to make the same mistakes I did)

So, with this in mind, here are a few of my top tips for meeting writers and turning them into real friends and professional peers:

You need to reach out (yes, I know this sucks)

Connecting with other writers is one of the best ways to improve your business and writing skills,

(And they also make being a writer more fun in literally every single way)

But, to meet writers, you can’t just hide in the shadows, looking mysterious, intellectual, and aloof at a coffee shop,

Hoping that someone will come up to you and say, “Wow, what amazing piece of modern literature are you crafting today, you vixen of the modern word, you!”

(Side note: I wrote this line, and I honestly can’t decide if it’s amazing and poetic or the creepiest thing on the entire planet. Please reply and let me know lol)

When I started using LinkedIn for my business, one of the first things I did was reach out to writers with similar interests and skills to me to chat.

Using a Calendly link and a short, sweet, and inviting message introducing myself, I put myself out there in a way I never had before hoping that someone, ANYONE, would reply and be interested in chatting.

And, much to my surprise, the response was AMAZING, and I had over 25 intro calls with writers within the first few months of using the platform.

The medical writer community on LinkedIn is filled with some of the kindest and most generous people I have ever met — but you need to be willing to put yourself out there to access them.

So, this is me telling you to put yourself out there and ask. It went better for me than I every could have imagined, and I want you to have the same experience. It is so empowering!

Don’t be too formal

There is a fine line between being polite and professional and coming across like a crunchy, unrelatable robot — and trust me, you aren’t going to have a lot of interest if you fall on the wrong side of the line.

I know when I was first starting to reach out to other writers that I found inspirational, it was really easy for me to write very formal-sounding messages.

“Hey X name, thank you so much for connecting. I am very eager to learn more about your work, and at your earliest convenience, I would love to schedule a call to chat.”

(Bruhhhh, this just so isn’t me, why did I send this to another human being???)

Now, I want to say that there is nothing objectively wrong with these types of messages,

But for me, a person who talks very casually on calls and in my professional work, they did not accurately describe my vibe and ✨energy✨

So, while being polite is important for getting people to want to chat with you, you need to consider that being overly formal messages can be a big turn-off, too.

To find the balance between both, I recommend writing your intro message the same way that you would verbally introduce yourself to someone in person.

If you use more casual language in your personal life (hi, hello, it is me, I do this), be sure to infuse your message with some of your personality so it reads authentic to what it is like to know you.

(And for me, that means using emojis, casual language, and an overall friendly and quirky energy. But it’s different for everyone!)

Find common ground and be willing to share

Once you get the opportunity to chat with another writer, you need to be willing to be vulnerable and open if you actually want to connect.

Running your own business can be hard, and I know for writers, it is easy to compare our skills and success to others.

Personally, I have connected most with people who are open and honest about their experiences, both positive and negative.

When someone was willing to share their story, it gave me a jumping-off point to ask more legitimate questions, which helped to enhance our bond and make us feel more like real friends.

No one wants to talk with someone who only talks about how they are crushing it in every way or how every single thing they have ever done has been terrible,

So do your best to be authentic and open about the good, the bad, and the weird that comes with freelance writing,

And I PROMISE you will make more impactful relationships way, way faster.

It’s time to get out there and connect

What tips do you have for making real-life writer friends? Reply to this article and let me know, I’ll be sure to share your advice with the group in a future piece!