An Important Lesson In Self-Prioritization

Do you struggle to put yourself first?

(Hi, hello, yes, we are going there on this early Monday morning. STRAP IN).

Recently, as I have been making intentional moves to take up more space and ask for what I truly want and deserve for myself and my business,

And while I was doing my best to subdue the familiar internal back and forth about asking for more,

I was reminded of a once-off conversation I heard between a patient and their friend back when I was working in oral surgery

(I promise I was not being creepy, I was there to observe and learn!)

For some context:

Back in 2020, I worked at an oral maxillofacial surgery clinic as a registered nurse for a private-sector surgeon.

While working there, the most common surgery consultation we did was to remove wisdom teeth, especially in older adults who required more complex care.

In these cases, patients often have two imaging options before surgery:

• They can go the private imaging route to get higher-quality images to use during surgery

OR

• They could go the public imaging route, which produced lower-quality but usable images

While working there, I noticed a very interesting pattern when we brought up the options.

If the patient was at the appointment alone, they almost always chose the lower-quality imaging route, often saying something along the lines of:

“Oh, well, I don’t need the best, the normal imaging will be fine.”

But, if the patient was with a friend, caregiver, or family member, the higher-quality imaging was almost always chosen instead.

Now, back to the convo:

On this particular day, the patient was at their appointment with a friend, and the surgeon mentioned the two imaging options.

The patient hummed and hawed, leaning towards the lower-quality imaging because “they didn’t need the fancy stuff.”

Looking for support in their decision, the patient asked their friend which option they would choose, and the friend said:

“If you asked me to decide, there is no world where I would pick anything BUT the best option for you.”

(This patient had one hell of a friend, let me tell you)

I was taking notes at the time, and I deadass had to stop writing and look up to absorb the enormity of that statement.

The rest of the appointment went on like normal, but I cannot lie that the impact of that interaction had made my mind start racing.

How often had I been OK with taking the less-ideal option for myself, when my friends and family would only ever want the best for me?

Why do we take less than we deserve when making decisions about ourselves?

It’s so funny what we remember and what moments stick in our minds — because truly, there is a 0% chance that these people remember this conversation, but I think about it still, over four years later.

I’m not going to try to draw some painful metaphor out of this

(I think the message is clear, and you don’t need my “motivational” takeaway to oversell it to you, you are all smart, and I know you got this)

But like it has done for me over the past few years, I hope this story can be a gentle reminder to put yourself first.

It’s OK to put yourself first. It’s OK to get the best possible option for yourself and your business.

There is no valor or prestige in denying higher quality resources to yourself that are within your means, and at every chance you get, you should be comfortable with and interested in choosing the best option for yourself.

Whether this concept comes into play in your personal or professional life, I hope it helps you feel even a little bit more vindicated in your decisions to value and prioritize yourself.

(Because, we all know, if we were faced with the option to pick between the best or second best option for our family and friends, there would be no debate on which we would choose)

So, with this convo in mind, I want to give you all a little challenge.

What can you do this weekend to prioritize yourself?

(Reply and let me know your ideas, I’d love to hear from you!)

P.S. Yes, I know that there are many reasons why a person might not be able to pick the premium option for themselves every time,

(That is not what this story is suggesting you do)

But, instead, I just wanted to highlight the inherent tendency for people to de-prioritize themselves,

Often choosing lower-quality options for themselves, without even finding out if the better option is within their means to do so.

THIS IS YOUR REMINDER TO PUT YOURSELF FIRST EVERY CHANCE YOU GET, I PROMISE IT IS WORTH IT!